Lou says he’s done yelling at umpires.  In other news, I am in line for the papacy.

Bruce Miles has a plan to kick-start the offense without benching Bradley or Soriano. Surprisingly, it’s not a bad plan.  A terrifically bad pun, but not a bad plan.

Posnanski and James discuss the odd statistical drop-off in 33 YO ballplayers, as exemplified by our own Alfonso Soriano.

THT tackles two old baseball canards: strength up the middle, and the “lucky” hit. THT is really doing some great work of late.  Challenging conventions, even when the conventions are their own.

Tango talks lineup spots and pitchers.  Turns out the “idea” to hit Zambrano 4th might not work out so well.

Bruce Levine chimes in with two nice posts, one about the relationship between Lou and Hendry, the other about Milton and his relationship with his teammates. 

Over at OotI, vlad takes a look at the 2009 Cub wOBA’s, while Harry points out that F7 seems to have developed a curveball.

WV23 responds to the “Zambrano is not an ace” crowd.

bodman pointed out in the game wrap how Len Kasper somehow kills the excitement on his home run calls, and noted how even a replay of Pat Hughes’ call of Derrek Lee’s grand slam last night gave him goosebumps.  Pat has a way of doing that. I was listening to the game on Gameday Audio and on that call, Pat transported me instantly back into the 1980s with a call that was totally inspired by Harry Caray.  I raved about it in the comments, but after listening again, I don’t think it was one of Pat’s best.

Don’t get me wrong: in the moment, it was wonderful. The trouble for both Len and Pat on this call was that Lee smashed the crap out of that ball so there was no hang time for building suspense. It was on Waveland before they could even start to describe its flight.

I checked the other announcers to see if I could find any clips worth posting here, and I made a couple for your listening pleasure:

Pat Hughes and Ron Santo
The Brewers TV crew calling the play after the grand slam, bemused and surprised at Cub fans
The WRTO-Chicago announcers call the slam en Espanol

If we ignore the 7 RBI by Derrek Lee for a moment, as well as the home runs by Geovany Soto and Jake Fox, Sam Fuld led this team to victory. 

Being serious for a moment, Fuld has had a couple really nice games.  The guy deserves some headlines right now, but what he doesn’t deserve is the fans chanting his name as they did after his last at-bat.  Sammy, Sammy, Sammy.  Sound familiar?  Yeah, we heard that for many years at Wrigley.  What is it about anybody who comes up from the minor leagues and does anything at all?  The fans over on BCB actually wondered if Hendry was “showcasing” Andres Blanco earlier this year.  Fans went batshit insane over Bobby Scales.  Now it’s Sam Fuld’s turn.  It’s crazy.

Anyway, Ryan Dempster got the win, Derrek Lee hit a 3-run and a 4-run home run.  Cubs win.  Now you want 3 of 4 in this series at least. 

ACB Preview by Berselius
Time and Place: 7:05 pm at Wrigley Field
TV: CSN, FSN, MLB.TV
Gameday, Box, ESPN Preview, B-Ref Preview

Yahoo is reporting that the Cubs have acquired Jeff Baker from the Colorado Rockies.  Baker is eligible to come off the 60-day DL at any time. 

The Chicago Cubs have acquired Jeff Baker(notes) from the Colorado Rockies, according to a source close to the club.

It is unclear who the Rockies will receive in return for Baker or the Cubs’ plans for him.

Baker, an infielder, went on the 15-day disabled list retroactive to April 27 and was transferred to the 60-day DL on May 24. He began a minor league rehab assignment June 19.

Source: Yahoo! Sports

More proof that Aaron Miles has played his final game as a Cub!

[UPDATE @ 8:55 AM]  As Vlad pointed out, Baker hits lefties exceptionally well.  .902 OPS against lefties in his career.  Here’s your new starting 2nd baseman against lefties.  Fontenot or Blanco will be getting the playing time against the righties.  One has to hope it’s Fontenot.  Blanco is great defensively, but he’s a back-up. 

[UPDATE @ 11:50 AM]  Bruce Levine confirms the trade.  The Cubs sent right-handed reliever Alberto Alburquerque to the Rockies and Baker will be in uniform for tonight’s Cubs game.  For those of you wondering, Suburban Kid has found out Alburqueque’s porn name:  Humpy Slickbooty.

I love it whenever the Cubs play the Brewers, and not just because we get the chance to mock Brewers fans’ little brother complexes. It’s too bad that Ramirez is not back yet for this series - aside from Z’s no-hitter (which was kind of Brewers related), the most memorable games in each of the past two seasons were games that ended with Ramirez walkoffs against the Brewers.

The Brewers are pretty much the team we thought they were, going into the season. They are 3rd in the NL with a .334 team wOBA, but third worst in the NL with a 4.63 FIP (starter FIP is 5.05). They have also continued to improve on what was a good defensive performance last year. As several people (mainly MB) mentioned around here tonight, the Cubs will not face Gallardo (who is, coincedentally, the Brewers ONLY starter with a FIP below 5) in this series, after he was a tough luck loser in a 1-0 game against the Mets today, striking out 12 and allowing only one run in 7 innings. Brewers starters also have a HR/9 rate of 1.45. I’m starting to wonder how this team could possibly be leading the division.

Injuries
Ramirez is beginning his minor-league rehab assignments to prepare for a Monday return, barring any setbacks. Reed Johnson is on the DL with back problems, and Angel Guzman is down with a triceps strain. I think I heard someone say that he pitched in a minor league game today, so that’s a good sign for someone with an injury history like his. Aaron Miles is also biding his time on the DL, (hopefully) awaiting his release. For the Brewers, perenially overratedly underrated Dave Bush is on the DL with a minor biceps tear. Rickie Weeks finally seemed to get it together to start the season before tearing a tendon in his OTHER wrist, requiring season-ending surgery. You have to feel bad for the guy.

Players to watch
Prince Fielder has had a ridiculous season thus far, posting a .430 wOBA, and he’s projected at .418 for the remainder of the season. Too bad for him that he plays in the same league as Albert Pujols, rendering his chances of getting a MVP trophy in the not-so-near future quite small. Former Cubs ‘prospect’ Casey McGehee has absorbed a big chunk of Weeks’s time and posted a .464 wOBA in the month of June, prompting hind-sighted Cubs fans to blame Hendry for releasing him. News flash: he’s not that good. His projected wOBA is .310, which is worse than Mike Fontenot’s (not, however, worse than Aaron Miles. If only he could have played SS….). For the Cubs, Soto’s bat finally seems to have woken up. He even got a non Cub-like hit with a runner in scoring position today, and hit a triple.

Pitching matchups

Thursday: Seth McClung,RHP (5.15, 5.06) v Ryan Dempster,RHP (4.27, 3.79), 7:05 PM CT
Dempster didn’t have his good stuff in his last start, and was knocked around by the White Sox. He’s actually been pretty wild in his past three starts, walking 13 batters over that span and struggling to get groundballs.
I’m just going to post three sets of numbers for McClung

Of course, this means that McClung will throw a shutout and strike out fifteen batters. Normally I’d pick the Cubs here, but with a talented Brewers offense and a shaky Dempster I think the Brewers win this one.

Friday: Jeff ‘Ace’ Suppan, RHP (5.35,4.8) v Future Boston Pitcher, RHP (4.00,4.01), 1:20 PM CT
Suppan is going to get the same treatment McClung got

How are these guys pitching for a major league baseball team? Z continues to roll along this season. Aside from an uptick in his walk rate, Z’s GB/FB rate has gone to 1.0, which is a big drop from his career rate of 1.54. However, he’s posted his lowest FIP in the past 4 years, largely because the additional fly balls are staying in the ballpark. His HR/FB rate is at 7.1%, a little lower than his 9.3% career rate, so whatever he’s doing is working just fine. Z always seems to bring his A game against the Brewers, so this should be a win for the Cubs.

Saturday: Braden Looper, RHP (5.3,4.61) v Rich Harden, RHP (4.77,3.11), 12:05 PM CT
We were starting to wonder if Harden was still injured or tipping his pitches, but he shut us right up with his last start, where he struck out 9 while walking 1, allowing 1 run (and no HR) in 7 innings of work. I still don’t know what to make of him this season. Stuff wise he’s still the best pitcher on the staff, but he’s been maddeningly inconsistent this year. Looper is yet another underpowering Brewers pitcher (5.4 K/9), but at least he has better control than most of the rest of them (2.7 BB/9). His biggest problem has been the home run - his HR/9 is nearly twice his career rate. Like Harden, he’s going to stop giving up so many gopherballs eventually. If Harden’s HR problems aren’t fixed, this is going to be a very short outing for him. I pick the Brewers to win, unless Harden proves me wrong.

Sunday: Mike Burns, RHP (4.64,NA) v Ted Lilly, LHP (4.01,3.99), 1:20 PM CT
Burns is making his second start of the season, and normally I would say that means trouble for the Cubs. However, he pitched 133 innings for the Iowa Cubs last year so the Cubs should have a good scouting report on him. He throws mainly fastballs and splitters, so Soriano could have a huge game here. Ted Lilly is posting the best season of his career, and hopefully will get an All-Star game nod for his contributions to the team. What especially stands out this year is his walk rate, which stands at a sterling 1.98 BB/9.

Prediction A split. Would like to see 3 out of 4, but I’m worried about Dempster and Harden. If one of them is really on his game then the Cubs will probably win the series.

By the way, I think ‘underpowering’ is my new favorite adjective

If all goes well, Aramis Ramirez will be back with the Cubs on Monday when they open a 3-game series against the Atlanta Braves. Ramirez is going to play Friday, Saturday and Sunday with the Peoria Chiefs and get about 10 or 12 at-bats. If he doesn’t have a setback, he’ll most likely be in the lineup Monday night. Don’t expect Ramirez to be the offensive player he’s capable of being for a week or so. He’s been out a long time and 3 games isn’t going to be enough action to get him ready for game speed, but hopefully his presence will have an impact on some of the others.

Randy Wells turned in another excellent start tonight.  He tossed 7 innings, allowed 6 hits, 1 run, walked 1 and struckout 4.  It was Wells’ 10th MLB start and his 8th quality start.  In fact, Wells has been so good this year that he’s allowed 2 runs or fewer in 8 of those 10 starts this season.  The most he has allowed is 4 in a 3.2 inning stint.  He lowered his season ERA to 2.43 and very well could make the NL All-Star team with another good starter or two before the rosters are put together. 

Sam Fuld got the start in LF giving Soriano a very much needed day off and Fuld delivered.  He collected his first career hit in the 1st (he was leading off) as he doubled down the right field line.  Theriot sacrificed him over to 3rd (not really sure why) and then Derrek Lee hit a long home run to CF to give the Cubs the early lead.  Randy Wells would give one of them back in the 1st, but the Cubs added on a couple later in the game.  Kosuke Fukudome hit a solo home run and Geovany Soto drove in a run as well to give the cubs a 4-1 lead.

Carlos Marmol hit the leadoff batter in the 8th inning, but then retired the next 3 in order. 

The real news from this game though is something the media has been begging Lou to do.  In the top of the 6th inning with Soto at 3rd and Blanco at 1st, Wells grounded out and it was a bang-bang play.  Lou ran onto the field and was as angry as we’ve seen him in a Cubs uniform.  Replays showed that Wells was actually safe, but you can’t really say it’s a bad call when it takes slow motion to know for sure.  Lou tossed his hat down to the ground and was immediately tossed.  Lou and the umpire argued face to face for a bit, but that was all there was to it.  The media will be happy and unfortunately it will take the headlines rather than the great pitching from Randy Wells or the great game by Sam Fuld who also threw a runner out at home tonight. 

The Cubs take 2 of 3 from the Bucs and head home to face the Brewers this weekend.  They should have the pitching advantage in all 3 games as Yovanni Gallardo threw the ball for the Brewers today.  Need at least 2 of 3. 

Time and place: 6:05 pm, PNC Park
TV: CSN, FSN, MLB.TV
ACB Preview by Berselius
ESPN Preview
Baseball Reference Preview
Gameday, Box

In the most recent issue of Vine Line the notorious douchebag Paul Sullivan admits something else.  You may recall that in spring training he admitted to giving less favorable coverage to those who are mean to him.  Seriously, a journalist admitted on air that he writes differently about people based on their level of niceness to him.  Sullivan is a journalist, or he is supposed to be anyway.  Sullivan is now admitting to actively rooting for the success and failure of people based on whether or not they are nice to Paul. 

“I do find myself rooting for a particular player, thinking, I hope this guy does well, or I hope this guy gets rocked because he treated me like garbage.”

It’s one thing to actively root against someone who treated like shit and another to allow that bias to enter into your work.  I realize that.  There’s nothing that wrong with Sullivan actively rooting for the failure of someone who treated him like garbage.  I don’t think I do it, but that’s just me.  I can easily see how someone would feel that way, but the problem becomes when a journalist (Notorious Douchebag Paul Sullivan) admits publicly that he does this shortly after already admitting that he is fairer to those who treat him well. 

This is from The New York Times Code of Ethics:

24. Relationships with sources require sound judgment and self-awareness to prevent the fact or appearance of partiality. Cultivating sources is an essential skill, often practiced most effectively in informal settings outside of normal business hours. Yet staff members, especially those assigned to beats, must be aware that personal relationships with news sources can erode into favoritism, in fact or appearance. Editors, who normally have a wide range of relationships, must be especially wary of showing partiality. Where friends and neighbors are also newsmakers, journalists must guard against giving them extra access or a more sympathetic ear. When practical, the best solution is to have someone else deal with them.

25. Though this topic defies firm rules, it is essential that we preserve professional detachment, free of any hint of bias. Staff members may see sources informally over a meal or drinks, but they must keep in mind the difference between legitimate business and personal friendship. A city editor who enjoys a weekly round of golf with a city council member, for example, risks creating an appearance of coziness. So does a television news producer who spends weekends in the company of people we cover. Scrupulous practice requires that periodically we step back and look at whether we have drifted too close to sources with whom we deal regularly. The test of freedom from favoritism is the ability to maintain good working relationships with all parties to a dispute.

I’m aware the Chicago Tribune Code of Ethics may vary from this, but I don’t really care.  If it’s good enough for The New York Times, it’s good enough for all journalists in this country.  Paul Sullivan is in clear violation of these ethics.  He should be thankful he is not employed The New York Times.  Here’s something from the ethics page of Society of Professional Journalists:

Seek Truth and Report It
Journalists should be honest, fair and courageous in gathering, reporting and interpreting information.

Sullivan has been honest.  Let’s give him that.  Unfortunately he was honest that he is not fair in his coverage!  Here’s some things from a list that “journalists should do.” 

— Test the accuracy of information from all sources and exercise care to avoid inadvertent error. Deliberate distortion is never permissible.

Do you recall the story Sullivan told us in spring training about how Milton Bradley went ballistic?  Do you recall Milton’s actions?  MB was not at all happy with the call (he was right), but he did not go ballistic and he did not even confront the umpire.  Sullivan deliberately distorted the facts.

— Make certain that headlines, news teases and promotional material, photos, video, audio, graphics, sound bites and quotations do not misrepresent. They should not oversimplify or highlight incidents out of context.

Remember last week when Sullivan titled an entry Milton Bradley has been benched?  That was a misrepresentation of what happened and Paul Sullivan knows it.

— Avoid misleading re-enactments or staged news events. If re-enactment is necessary to tell a story, label it.

Milton Bradley and spring training.  Fail!

— Avoid stereotyping by race, gender, age, religion, ethnicity, geography, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance or social status.

Take a look back through Sullivan’s articles over the last 5 years when you have some time to waste.  You’re going to find something that is troubling in this day and age: Sullivan covers white players differently than he does minorities.  This a problem damn near all journalists have, but at least most of them aren’t as bad as Sullivan is.

Under a list for Minimize Harm:

— Show good taste. Avoid pandering to lurid curiosity.

A good look through Sullivan’s headlines and his opening paragraphs will show you he has no taste.

Paul Sullivan is an awful sportswriter as we have talked about around here for a long time now, but he’s also an awful journalist who should be forced to find a new career. 

The following text in blockquotes represent the entirety of the latest piece of crap from the keyboard of Phil Rogers. Credit goes to FJM for inspiration.

As Lou Piniella was saying on Friday, enough’s enough.

Alright! I love articles that start out with platitudes like this! Usually, they’re followed by shaky logic and over-reaching, knee-jerk reactions. Let’s see where this one goes…

Get Carlos Zambrano out of here, even if the Cubs have to give him away. He’s not the guy you want as the ace of a curse-busting team, and at this point, it’s wishful thinking that he’ll ever mature into that guy.

Oh, dear. This may cause a headache. Did you just call the Cubs a team that is busting a curse? Nevermind. There’s stupider eggs to crack in that sentence. Primarily, this one: get rid of Zambrano. Really? I’ll use small words and simple numbers here so you can understand just how stupid this idea is…

Carlos Zambrano has a career ERA of 3.49 (I’ll give you a big hint: that’s good). He’s had over 30 starts in each of the last 6 seasons, averaging of over 15 wins and 200 innings per year in that time span. He has struck out 1238 batters in his career, good for more than 8 strikeouts per nine innings. He’s just over 28 years old and at the peak of a career that hasn’t been plagued by injuries and looks as if it may have a long tail to it.

Proving that I did not attend Kellogg, Wharton or even the Acme School of Business, I offer this proposition for Jim Hendry: First thing Monday morning, put Zambrano on waivers. If anyone claims him and the $62.75 million left on his contract, which runs through 2012, immediately trade him for whatever is being offered, from a bag of balls to a 32-year-old minor-leaguer.

No, you didn’t go to Kelloogg, Wharton, or Acme. Neither did I. But at least I have a clue how much worse this team would be without Zambrano. If you replaced him with, say…. a 32-year-old minor-leaguer, the team would be about 4 wins worse per year. That’s a lot. (We’ll get to the significance of that in a bit.) As far as value is concerned, Zambrano was worth approximately $16 million based on his performance last season. That’s more than his $15 million salary, and if he stays healthy the rest of the season he’s likely to outperform the rest of his salary for this year. So releasing him would only make sense if it’s part of a larger rebuilding plan where the team trades superstars for prospects and re-invests their salaries in younger players. Unfortunately, bags of balls and 32-year-yold minor-leaguers don’t really jive with that plan. Something like that would be, you know… a PLAN. This is just sheer stupidity.

Because Hendry gave Zambrano a full no-trade clause in a 2007 contract extension, Zambrano can choose: Either go where he’s being dealt, waving goodbye to Wrigley Field, or block the trade and deal with the knowledge that you’re playing for a team that believes it can live without you. What a show Zambrano put on Sunday at U.S. Cellular Field.

As I said above, the best estimates out there have Zambrano worth about 4 wins per season over the last 6 years compared to the replacement you suggest. Last season that wouldn’t have made a difference because the Cubs won their division by 7.5 games. But they only won the division by 2 games in 2007 and only won it by a single game in 2003, so it may have made a crucial difference in those years. So can the Cubs without Zambrano? Sure they could. Just not as well and not into the postseason.

Given the Cubs’ sorry display of the previous two days, when Piniella called Milton Bradley “a piece of [bleep]” and then got upset that the confidentiality of the clubhouse had been breached, allegedly by an unknown White Sox employee, the setting called for professionalism.

Unfortunately for the North Side drama queens, their ace once again reported for work wearing size 30 shoes and a red rubber ball on his nose. Zambrano pitched badly and lost his cool for about the zillionth time, venting his frustrations on Sox hitters en route to a 6-0 loss.

Zambrano clearly drilled Dewayne Wise in the butt on the first pitch after he had sniffed out a suicide squeeze attempt but threw wildly past Geovany Soto, allowing rookie Chris Getz to steal home. Home plate umpire Brian Runge should have ejected Zambrano, as it looked to me like the second time he had intentionally drilled a Sox hitter.

Note that Zambrano could have pitched 9 innings, struck out 15 batters given up only one run… and it wouldn’t have mattered. Zambrano’s pitching in this game was largely inconsequential. The hitting was the problem. He did give up 4 runs in 5 1/3 innings, not a good outing but not a catastrophe of ace-cutting proportions, either. But I should also remember that he “vented his frustrations.” (How dare he!) Zambrano had the right idea on the squeeze play. Soto needed to get out of his crouch to catch that ball, and Zambrano needed to not throw it nearly so far outside. But the problem here was execution, not a poor decision on Zambrano’s part. And for all the reasons for Brain Runge could eject Zambrano, it “looking to you like” a pitcher drilled a hitter (twice!) is pretty shitty one. But let’s give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume that Zambrano did indeed intentionally hit Dewayne Wise. How many other pitchers in the Major Leagues have intentionally thrown at another player? Should the Yankees have cut Clemens in the middle of the 2000 World Series? Is Bob Gibson the worst pitcher in the history of baseball?

He also ricocheted a pitch off Scott Podsednik’s rear end in the third inning. The motivation here wasn’t nearly as clear, but Sox players believe he was angry about either Podsednik’s four-hit game Saturday or, more likely, his unorthodox dance toward the front of the batter’s box during a pitcher’s delivery.

... or maybe Zambrano was pitching him inside, as Ron Santo suggested throughout the series. Throwing inside to a player that probably can’t turn on your fastball is good strategy, not dirty play.

Sox manager Ozzie Guillen played Zambrano like a Stradivarius after Podsednik was hit.

He let Zambrano throw repeatedly to first, holding Podsednik close, and never gave him the steal sign. He hoped a distracted Zambrano would hang a pitch to Alexei Ramirez or Jermaine Dye, and that’s exactly what Zambrano did, with Ramirez drilling a two-run homer on a 1-2 pitch.

This makes negative sense. Wouldn’t a manager that wanted Zambrano to throw over to first and be distracted by the runner have that runner take an enticing lead? If that’s what Guillen is after why have him “hold Posednik close?”

Zambrano then unraveled like, well, like he often does.

The sequence that allowed the Sox to add on to a 3-0 lead in the sixth was classic. Zambrano’s instincts were good enough to anticipate a suicide squeeze with Getz on third and Wise, the No. 9 hitter , batting. He just couldn’t execute. Soto had no chance to catch a fastball that sailed over the right-handed batter’s box. Fuming, Zambrano hit Wise with the next pitch.

“It was a cutter that cut too much,” he claimed later.

He offered an even stronger defense when asked if Podsednik was also hit with a cut fastball. “Yeah, cutter,” said Zambrano, who allowed five runs in 5 1/3 innings. “The ball cut a lot. I don’t want to put Podsednik on base. I’m not crazy. Nobody wants to have Podsednik on base.”

Zambrano had warmed up for the predictably high-energy start with a war of words with Sox pitching coach Don Cooper, who had been critical of Zambrano’s on-field meltdown on May 27. He tried to make a joke of Cooper’s 1-6 big-league record and bragged about his no-hitter.

Then, as usual, he went out and did not deliver.

Delivering… I don’t think you know what the word means. Here are the facts: Carlos Alberto Zambrano has the 3rd most strikeouts, the 3rd most wins, and the 3rd most innings pitched in the majors since 2003. If that’s what you call “unraveling,” or “not delivering,” I’ll take 5 unraveled, not-delivering guys in my rotation. “Not delivering” is a much better description of your baseball analysis than it is of Zambrano’s career, and because you’re far from the only dimwitted blowhard sportswriter, “unraveling” is probably a better description of your field than it is Zambrano’s mentality on the mound.

There are many reasons that a Cubs’ team with more than $140 million invested in payroll is in fourth place in the National League Central, and one of them is a front-runner, not a difference-maker.

What the hell does that sentence even mean? He’s a front-runner? Isn’t that a good thing? I showed above how a lack of Zambrano would have made a very big difference to the 2003 and 2007 teams, so he’s also clearly a difference-maker. But that’s besides the point. The point is: you don’t make any fucking sense. STOP WRITING!

The Cubs are 0-5 in Zambrano’s starts in the playoffs, being outscored 31-15. We’ll dismiss the 2003 NL Championship Series as old news and blame Piniella for lifting him when he was in a 1-1 game against Brandon Webb in the 2007 playoff opener, but his pitching had as much to do with the ugly Game 2 loss to Los Angeles last year as did the four infield errors.

Hendry had a chance to let Zambrano walk as a free agent after 2007, the season in which he beat up catcher Michael Barrett during a game at Wrigley, but injuries to Mark Prior and Kerry Wood gave Zambrano a hammer.

Too bad the one he now swings makes funny noises, like the one Moe favored when whacking Larry and Curly.

Zambrano responds to Tribune fan poll

Zambrano was asked by Paul Sullivan about the poll in which Cubs fans effectively trade Carlos Zambrano for a sack of baseballs and he said, “Fine, trade me to Boston.”  You have to like Zambrano.

“Fine, trade me to Boston,” Zambrano said.

Last weekend Zambrano said he would play for only two other teams than the Cubs—Boston and the White Sox. But apparently he changed his mind about the White Sox now that he knows pitching coach Don Cooper doesn’t care for him.

In truth, the Cubs can’t send Zambrano anywhere without his approval.

“Got the no-trade clause, man,” he said.

Any other team in the National League he would consider being traded to?

“The Dodgers,” he said.

Why the Dodgers?

“Can you see me in Hollywood?” he said. “Me and (Sylvester) Stallone? Rocky VI.”

I might finally watch another Rocky movie if it has Zambrano in it.  How can you not like this guy?